Last night I went out with a friend who is also working hard to lose weight. As we discussed our individual journeys we both brought up how amazing our spouses have been on this journey. It’s absolutely true, in my case. My husband has gone with the flow when I’ve modified or experimented with healthy dishes. He’s kept quiet when I stopped baking and even has refrained from talking about foods he knows I’m avoiding.
I can’t even express how much I appreciate that my hubby is taking these steps to help me be successful. However, I’ve also come to the important realization that he shouldn’t have to do that. In fact, I’ve encouraged him to eat what he wants and to stop tip-toeing around me. Why would I do that? Because it’s finally occurred to me that I am the only one who can ensure my weight loss success.
As much as we’d like it to, the world doesn’t mold and shape itself to fit our needs. If I tell my husband he has to change his habits then where do I draw the line? Is it also ok to tell coworkers that they can’t bring junk food to potlucks or to tell friends that they have to eat healthy if we have dinner together? Is it ok for me tell the patrons around me at the movie theater that they can’t have popcorn? Even if my husband helps me cut out all temptation at home I’m still going to face other temptations elsewhere. Maybe by learning to resist them at home I’ll be better prepared to fight them no matter where I’m at.
The only thing I will say about this is that having this attitude doesn’t mean it’s ok for friends and family to be specifically UNsupportive. I’ve known people who have been teased by family members for the way they look while they work out. Others have had families who gripe when they ask to use the TV for a half hour workout video. Others, still, have had people flat out flaunt desserts and unhealthy food in their face specifically BECAUSE they think it’s funny that they “can’t have it.”
Behavior like that is completely unacceptable and makes me want to gut-punch those people (yes, it makes me violent!). All I’m saying is I’ve come to believe that long-term success with weight loss is not about changing the world around us but rather about us adapting to that world. Everyone’s different and it may be that some ppl need to start on the other side and work toward this. Goodness knows I did. But it’s definitely food for thought, if nothing else.