Happy Monday Everyone!
In yesterday’s post, I committed to re-launching my healthy journey. Like most others who have to dedicate themselves specifically to improving their health, I’ve made some bad calls lately and it’s time to rectify those. Before I get too far into this, though, I think it’s important to explain my Call to Adventure.
If you remember, the Call to Adventure is the first part of the Healthy Hero’s Journey. It’s that moment where you realize that a change is required for you to attain your individual health goals. For me, that moment occurred this past Saturday.
To explain Saturday, I have to first explain the last few months. Back in June, I developed a stress fracture in my pelvis, which rendered me non-weight-bearing for 11 weeks. During that entire time, I managed to keep my weight within about 5 pounds of where I was when the injury first occurred. I considered that to be a win, of sorts, considering how difficult that particular timeframe was. But since then, my weight has continued to climb steadily until yesterday morning, when I weighed in at 12 pounds higher than my pre-injury weight of 140 pounds.
Saturday wasn’t even about my weight though – mostly because one of the habits I’ve fallen off of is weighing in daily. No, Saturday was about my injury. I can’t even explain it, except to say that my family had just gone home after the holiday and I found myself sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself because my leg (on the side my pelvis was injured on) had been bothering me. I didn’t do my normal physical therapy stretches and exercises on Thursday and Friday, because of the holiday, so my leg was bothering me more than normal.
I decided to head to the gym for some time on the treadmill. About 3 weeks ago, I was released to finally start using the treadmill. Not for anything crazy, mind you. I’m just allowed to work on speed walking – with my easy walk at a 3 and my speed walk at a 3.5. That still makes me laugh because 3.5 was my super easy walk before my injury!
At any rate, I was told to start off with 15 minutes of interval work on the treadmill then, after my first week, I was allowed to work my way up to 30 minutes. The problem is that I had a slight setback after that first week – with my muscles clenching and becoming too tight for me to do much at all – so that 30 minute goal has remained elusive. So Saturday, I set out to beat that.
Nine minutes into my walk, my muscles began to clench and strain again. I tried to push through it for a tiny bit but when everything started to feel “off” even with my easy walk, I knew I was done. I slapped the treadmill (ouch!) because I was so mad and, because I was alone in our apartment’s gym, I seriously contemplated throwing one of the workout room’s stability balls just because the bounce of the ball against the wall seemed like it’d be pretty darn satisfying.
But I didn’t. Instead, I went back home, had myself a small cry of frustration, and ate a leftover cinnamon roll from breakfast with my family. And then I had another cinnamon roll. And then, I made some chocolate chip cookies and ate those. And then I dove into some of the holiday candy we already have around the house. Seriously.
If that’s not stress eating, I don’t know what is. What I do know is that I only ate that way because my husband was at work. If he had been home I would have figured out a different way of working through my stress. Instead, I let myself indulge and then I cleaned up all the evidence of my transgression so that he’d never know or question it. And that is a major problem. I’ve always felt that unhealthy eating is an addiction, just as powerful as smoking or alcoholism and “hiding” my unhealthy eating or engaging in “secretive” unhealthy eating is always the first sign to me that I’ve slipped into a dark place.
So that was my Call to Adventure moment. I’m not going to lie. I knew I was doing wrong even as I chomped down those chocolate chip cookies. But, right or wrong, I let myself have my sad, woe-is-me moment, and then I told myself that Sunday would be different.
And it was. Sunday (and so far today) all my food was either been healthy or at least healthily proportioned. In fact, yesterday I was under my calorie goal for the day, which is great! I did all my stretches and exercises, including finally hitting that elusive 30-minute goal on the treadmill. It wasn’t easy but I decided it was time and I just needed to push through until it was done. It’s a small triumph, but I know that a million small triumphs will eventually get me where I want to be. And, as frustrating as Saturday was, it’s nice to know that it was enough of a Call to Adventure to get me back on track so I can continue working toward my goals.